i've made a decision.

so, i've decided. i don't want to take the risk, cuz i'm sure i can't make it. i have my own way, i have my own principle. enough being in that situation, i can't follow. i'm not suit in it. so am i deserve for you? no. absolutely and clearly not, i'm just no one, i have a lot of flaws so don't expect anything from me cuz one day later everyone will know i'm not as good as they thought i am. that's why i rather be a stranger instead of get close to everybody. and i don't want to sacrifice my future. maybe by this decision, would break my heart into pieces, cuz it is my dream,,which i'd mention in every prayers. but as long as it is there, the two FEARS will follow. i need to get rid of the fear, especially the unsure one. so i've decided.

to hold on or let go?

and,
i've decided.

now i just have to get confirmation from isthikarah i'd make in hope for miracle, if not then i'll find a way to make it a proper decision. and now i think is the best time for that.