why me??

*attention! please dont vomit reading this*

bhahaha its not that im full of myself or perasan, but it was obviously right. why they hav such feeling on me? i wont tell it here cuz i'm afraid that u will vomit reading it. but i never hope it happens,,even me always pray that what happened long time ago was the last. cuz im sick of it. sick of disappointing others and fight against my feelings, cuz u know what?? i tend to hav feeling on someone who has feeling on me as well. so its like a challange for me to 'jaga iman jaga hati' and maybe cuz allah knows im weak at this so He tests me regarding this. but until when?

i tell you, i am nothing okayyy. and believe me, if you be friend with me you will find out that im a lame and boring person. im cant joking and really bad at encountering any insultion. im not a man of words. even if i meet you guys dont be shocked if im like this, silent all the time. anddd whats i hate the most is, when others found out that im not good as they expected im before. that was not a good feeling cuz i hate to ruin others' expectation and hopes.huhuhu. thats why i hate if someone likes me.

but i do appreciate them, thats why if i know someone has feeling on me,,i'd have it too. huhuhu. cuz i know even i hav a lot of weaknesses they still admire me,,ecece,, thats why in my prayers, i always mention them. yup maybe i can't reply on their feelings on me, thats why i juz pray for them. so it worth it, right.

again, i'm not perasan ok,,at first they were juz my firasat, but i have some alibi to say it true.

and i still dont get it. why??

i'm good at nothing ok.